Someone please tell me how to get motivated again.
I seem to have lost that loving feeling with being here, the constant stress, the workload that never ends, the living on campus, being away from Canada...all of it. I had a total stress meltdown last week (on *holidays* I might add) and have been dreaming of nothing more than the life I had before this.
Weird since I spent all my life before this thinking about medical school. I actually had a fantasy about re-applying to Calgary again next year and quitting school here. I know that is insane, but that is how much I want to be home.
Sigh.
I really am trying to do everything to stay positive: I am exercising 5-6 times a week, eating well, getting enough sleep, taking breaks from work when I need it, trying to laugh as much as possible. Tobie is being as helpful as he can but I am worried that me feeling down will be a wear on our relationship. He's definitely been a huge support here.
I just can't seem to concentrate or retain anything it seems. I suppose one of the downsides to having worked in healthcare is knowing what is in store at the end. I always thought that was a plus--but you know my classmates get theses starry looks in their eyes and wistful expressions when they talk about getting to be in the hospital. I know what awaits, and though yes it is obviously a great job overall, I have no misconceptions of the realities of residency and work.
I feel the need to be inspired or excited about something again instead of just slogging.
