The Venue of Vultures

How is it that finish lines can feel so hollow? I was driving home from my exam, the last surge of adrenaline from writing was long gone and had been replaced by the anticipated nausea. I was expecting to feel jubilant. Relieved. Excited. It's strange how coming to the end of a long road can be so anticlimactic.
There have been times in my life where I have felt the pull of endless possibility in many directions so it is a sensation I am already familiar with.

In my minds eye I feel see myself running in a canyon, it's hot and rugged and my head is down to follow the rust colored contours. Running, running, running and then suddenly the ground opens up beneath my feet and I am flying through the air.
So far I have always landed on my feet, but at this juncture I have no idea where that might be. This next year is wide open for me.

So this chapter is closed.

The stage, predominately the basement of the central academic building. Often empty, save for a few random people (who also know where the electrical outlets are) playing video games or watching youtube. During the day the large picture windows let you see what you're missing. By night, there is no way to shift your weight to make those fixed plastic chairs comfortable. And generally, around this time the night cleaning crews arrive, and with them the cue to head home.

My last night of studying in CAB.

A major player and ultimate ally here at the university, Raj. This man met me almost every morning and every afternoon, for a total of 3-4h a day to tutor me through the wonderful world of organic chemistry. For the last 6 weeks I've robbed him of his opportunity to sleep in, and any opportunity to eat dinner outside the bowels of the chem building. Raj--you ROCK!




And now for the best part. The last act, the celebration! I was sitting in the students union building a few days ago when I looked up and saw Paul. A good friend and former partner in truancy, vandalism, and general adolescent skulduggery. I haven't seen him since we graduated from high school. It was strange looking at him and seeing a man's face superimposed on the image of my 17 year old version of him. As Friday was his last exam for his most recent degree and my last exam in year of pre req hell, we thought it fitting that we ring in the New Reality together. And as an added bonus, his roommate Jaison was also a friend from high school who I'd often hoped I would connect with again someday.

So we ate, we drank, and were merry.
There really is a special connection that we carry with people who have been in our lives during the tumultuous and wondrous time which is our coming of age. I generally shudder at any thought of high school or the people that I was forced into spending it with, so it was amazing to spend an evening reacquainting a couple of dear friends who had been red balloons in a gray landscape.

So for now, I am free of the venue of med-hopeful vultures. Free to spend time with the important people in my life, time in my kitchen, and time on the trails. And for all of that, I am happy.

Go Long---May Long!

I forgot about this picture. John and I ended up lost, wandering the streets of Geneva like a couple of oafs after a fabulous dinner at a restaurant Hank recommended. But before we ended up an hour and a half in the wrong direction from our hotel, we stumbled upon this park where many chess games were underfoot (literally) among an interesting cross section of Genevians (Genevioans?). There were toothless old dudes, hipsters, punks, yuppies, huppies, nerds, and goths all claiming their little piece of painted concrete.

I was entertained as we walked around and John shredded every players strategy, mumbled about their inferior chess playing abilities, scoffed at their moves, and guffawed about slow and painful endings to games that had such "obvious check mates". Thats my man. Chess snob number one.

Enter, Edmonton.

After our beautiful little Swiss getaway the reality of Edmonton hit like a ton of bricks. Or should I say, a ton of pavement?


Right now I am spending roughly 2-3h a day in traffic. Not just the 'getting from A to B is a long way off' kind of traffic, but the 'inching along in construction zones' kind. The worst kind. Also, the two main veins that empty into the heart of the university are under construction. So there is no way to avoid it. It is heinous. My calculations have shown roughly 30+ hours in the car in the past 2 weeks. Life is just too damn short for that kind of nonsense if you ask me. No wonder coronary artery disease is directly correlated to how far one has to commute!


So last weekend I got in the car again. But this time I drove to Red Deer. And got to see my beautiful little niece and nephews.

The reward was certainly worth the trip.

This is Rachel, she's 6 which means she still is young enough to think she has a cool auntie. I like hanging out with her, a lot.

This is my bro Shandy. He's pictured here, in his happy place, i.e his garage where he is assembling a replica AC Cobra.


His plan is to be finished by fall so he can drive Rachel to her first day of grade one in it.
I asked if he'd maybe make another one for me so I could have it for my first day of MD school, to which he made some smart-assed remark about "well...at the rate you're going...".

"Have I been looking at the directions upside down the whole time? Hmmmm


Speaking of boys and toys. Here is my brother in law's new toy. He's pretty pumped. Though I am sad he didn't get the insane zodiac with the roll bars. That boat looked waaaay more fun!



So Davey took us out for a day of fishing. We were absentmindedly enjoying our V8 juices and the sun when suddenly the weather turned on us and lightening started showing itself in the north. So we hot-footed it back to the trucks to wait for the storm to pass. Good thing, for as soon as we were ensconced in our vehicles a crazy hail storm decided to hit us full throttle.


In about 20 mins the wild storm had passed and we had bluebird sky again.


Here is 'Little Man' eying his catch with some trepidation. Who knew one could catch such brilliantly colored fish in the 7 foot depths of an Alberta lake?? Sorry Verena, no macros of that guy.



So now I am back in the big smoke. Doing my fair bit of couch surfing. It has been great catching up with some friends that I haven't seen in years. I am tired of living out of a duffel bag though. The past year in Kelowna with John and I having to go back and forth on weekends, trying to keep track of my coat/toothbrush/footwear was tiring and it just seems to continue. When I leave my moms place in the morning I have to make a couple of trips, my car is full of textbooks (in case I have a spare minute to MCAT cram), an emergency supply of powerbar meal replacement drinks, spare runners, running clothes, some cans of tuna, change of clothes and shoes in case I end up going out for dinner, breakfast/lunch/coffee/tea/snacks, computer, ipod, camera, and their various charging and downloading devices. Really, it's ridiculous. Last week I slept at four different locations. Turns out all I need to add to my Mary-Poppins-Bag of a car is my fan and a pillow and I am set.

I wrote the above posting a couple of weeks ago but due to some issues with my tags (?) it wouldn't publish. I have since started the next o chem class and my schedule looks like this now:

0600h: wake
0730h-1000h: meet tutor at university after eating breakfast in car
1000h-1230h: class
1230h-1330h: study for daily lab exam/eat lunch/finish lab write up/pre-lab
1330h-1630h: make like duck in lab for 3h (scrambling around but trying to look calm on the surface)
1630h-1830h: run, eat, start lab write up, pre-lab, stare at wall, drool, fantasize about being a kept woman/winning lottery
1830h-2030h: meet with tutor (again!)
2030h-0030h: study, study, study...
0030h-0040h: read
0040h-0600h: sleep

So please forgive the lag in postings until after this is all over.

Everything Turn Turn Turn

A few final shots from our Swiss trip. John and I biked up a very sketchy road to burn off some cheese. I couldn't decide, as we ascended the windy mountain road if I'd rather be hit by a car or go tumbling down the steep embankment. Luckily I never had to make the choice.
A couple of photos from our last night in town, where we took Hank out for dinner at a medieval castle.

This is our "band" shot. I don't think we look aloof enough.

Hanks town. Not bad eh?

John chowing on some Peter Rabbit with a large wooden spoon. Mmmmm...rabbit.

And now I am back in E-town. It's like groundhog year here. I am here for another round of organic chem. Yes, the very same from last year, well, with a twist. Last year the course was a first year organic class, now it is a second year course and the students are expected to have a year of inorganic under their belts. So it is a bit more challenging, but so far nothing compared to the Dr.N boot camp a la chemistry that I just finished at UBC. To the non-chem folks I know I am just rambling in a "wah wah wah wah" voice so I'll stop.

E-town is so weird. There are overpasses where there never used to be, the entire city seems to be under construction, and rush hour appears to be more like rush-12 hour. I went to the Sugar Bowl the other day to grab lunch. In the good old days I knew every server and half the clientèle. Now it is seems all the prototypes (the chain smoking post doc, the tortured photographer, the drummer from that band) are represented but they are all strangers.

My secret washroom in the Varscona Hotel (where one can go for a pee break when shopping) now has an electric lock on it for hotel guests--guess it wasn't so secret after all. The trick was to walk into the lobby like you owned the place, then no one questioned your intentions.

The only constant seems to be the homeless man with the stutter who sells "Our Voice" on the corner of 82 Ave and 104 St. I bought a paper from him. Relieved to finally see a familiar face, someone to orient myself with. Oh that and the uber trendy suspender and skinny-legged-jeans wearing staff at Gravity Pope where I, for traditions sake only, went and picked up a new pair of Fluevogs. Heck, they were on sale, and it was my early birthday present to self.

So UBC c'est fini. My marks proved to be pleasing. Managed to score honors for the year, which is sweet--is that the beckon of a medical school I hear in the distance? I hope so...I guess all those hours sitting in a plastic lawn chair for the past 8 months paid off. Now I just have to wail on the MCAT and these last two courses and...7-10 more years of school--here I come!!!

Life is good. I hate crawling along in traffic. It reminds me of why I live in a town where I can walk everywhere I could want to go in 45 mins or less.

Back to the books I go.

Are you a faculty member or a student?

Ouch. Now there was my first "you know you're an adult learner when" moment at the U of A this summer. Needing to activate my defunct student ID I had to head over to the computing services department and ask for a new password.

"Are you a faculty member or a student?" Was what I got. Wow. Things were feeling a bit like too tight underwear already but that really cinched it. Okay, so my youthful exuberance (ahem!) did nothing to hide the fact that I was either a returning student or keener faculty member.

I have to admit to some moments of insecurity and fish out of water sensations with my fellow organic chem classmates (or "o-chem" as the kids are calling it these days).

For starters most of them were well under the age of 25, I whined to my mother "My lab partner looks like she's 17" to which she replied with her deadpan version of comfort "that is because she is Erin".

Right.

Clearly I am out of sync with fashion, the whole legging thing really threw me off. I thought the girls were wearing skirts with 3/4 length leggings under because of the "no bare legs" rule in the lab. But no. Even on no lab days it was a trend that jerked me back to high school girls when I was in elementary school--where have all the feathered bangs gone though? is the question.

No more visa on campus either. HELLO! Some of us are working on aeroplan miles here people. When I complained to the chem store guy asking him "what kind of university is this?" he replied "welcome to the university of life--well I guess you've been going to that university for a while". HARSH! And then refused to believe that he didn't need to sell me the special lab goggles that go over glasses/contacts.

I hiss in his general direction.

But not only has the uni changed I guess, so have I. I remember my former schedule when I was doing my undergrad:
-wake up at last possible minute, pull clean-ish clothes off floor, apply toque to head and eat coffee for breakfast....arrive last, leave first. Spend as little time as possible on campus.
-go home, put on cleaner clothes, go to live music venue and drink rusty nails all night...except on the nights when I was waitressing--or the night before term paper due, only a few hours of rusty nail drinking, then paper writing until 7 am.

This time around it looked more like:
-rise at 5:45, eat breakfast in car while driving 45 mins to uni. Meet with tutor for 2 hours before class, review notes, drink excessive amounts of T-Ho's. Go to pre-class help session for 1h before class. Sit in lecture then lab for next 6.5h. Do homework at uni, study. Do extra questions. Work on lab. Study for quiz next day. eat dinner somewhere in there. Pass out on bed totally sober and depressed after midnight. Repeat.

I see the live shows advertised--Z-trip was playing the second week I was there. Last time I would have partied all night and recovered for three days after. This time for me the only Z-trip I saw was more than 5 hours of hydrogen-bond-breaking in-my-sleep-shut-eye.

Other new exciting differences that I noticed were--that I drive the same car that some of the kids in my class get dropped off by their mom in.
--I associated more easily with my prof and T.A's than with my fellow classmates. I also dress more like the profs than my classmates. Comfortable shoes are sooo out this year!

All in all it was an amazing challenge for me--the nerd in the front row with the dictaphone and multi-colored highlighters.

There was one rant which I posted on a certain social interface page which I will post here for those that missed my steam-let-off moment in the Central Academic Building.

Don't Reflux H2SO4 With Your Shirt Off
Okay seriously. It is sad. I am in this organic chem class right now with a bunch of tweens and yes I have been feeling a touch old....bitter...jaded. Well no, I have just been feeling like the adult learner that I am. A nerd. Who sits in the front row everyday, records the lectures, does all the homework, has a tutor, does the supplemental learning, studies everyday...

I realised that I have turned into one of those people I used to make fun of (who me?) in my undergrad. The dreaded keener-adult-learner. Well, I am not at the powerpoint making, pamphlet handing out stage of the game yet but GIMME TIME!

But seriously girls what is with the cleavage in the chem lab?? I mean really. This isn't a jealously thing either. I am perfectly secure when it comes to my twins. Honestly though, I mean--use your born-in-the-nineties brain! We are heating, distilling, mixing things like CONCENTRATED HYDROCHLORIC ACID and SULFURIC ACID! We're not baking a cake here gals! Have you heard the expression "don't fry bacon with your shirt off??" Try this one "Don't reflux hydrosulfuric acid with your tits out!"

I know, I know. Then how ever will you catch the eye of one of the dozens of pre-med guys? Wellllllll sweetie if you've got hamburger for a chest d'ya think he's going to want to be your lab partner? Think about it.

Anyway, I am done my rant/public safety announcement for the night. Gotta get back to the riveting chapter on the "properties of enantiomers". I feel a powerpoint coming on........

The adventure begins. Well it wasn't so much of an adventure really. It mostly involved driving, reading, studying, eating, and sleeping. But somewhat akin to adventure in how it tested the bounds of my discipline and dedication to a goal that is a long long long way off. I suppose that I just have to remember that sometimes things are closer than they appear.