Ta Ta For Now

It is absolutely pouring outside. I am packing up my car to drive to the coast for a couple (few?) weeks and realizing that this time I didn't even get a chance to unpack my duffel completely before having to fill it up again.

I do chuckle at the few creature comforts I bring with me everywhere. Like an old lady-I have my tempurpedic pillow, like an OCD insomniac a fan for white noise. Got my 4 pairs of running shoes, about 11 books I hope to get through, my favorite tank top that I sleep in, a thermos full of (and several boxes of ) my favorite tea, cue cards, study guides...

I am feeling a bit down. I spent some time on Cute Overload and Fail Blog to cheer me up. And then I gave my head a shake. (Not because I was wasting time on blogs when I should have been studying...) No, I gave my head a shake because though everything feels so uncertain I know I have a lot to be thankful for.

All of my friends here are so good to me. James and Verena have essentially been feeding and watering me since I came home on Monday, when I got home from their place there was a tin foil package and a note tucked into my door. It was at that exact moment I knew I lived in an amazing community.

It was late, and I was coming home to a dark house. A bit sad and lonely and there was this little food offering. I smiled and thought, hmmm....I wonder who this came from? Because it could have been so many people! I wasn't thinking 'oh , that must be so-and-so dropping off food again' I was running through all my peeps here, Sylvia? Ann Marie? Mandy? Anna? Alice?

A thoughtful gesture from Alice, in fact, which showed me the thoughtful nature of everyone in our group. It's nice to feel loved.

Which is part of the reason why it will be so hard to leave R-town.

For now I am working a 2 week contract out west, then hoping to find a little place to hide for the next month while I cram for the MCAT. After that I have no idea where I will go for work or where I will live. It's a bit overwhelming so I try not to think about it. If housing works out here maybe I will stay, but with the resort here now buying another house is just not possible and the rental market is dismal. I'm too old and in need of my own kitchen for a roommate....so we'll see.

Anna, Verena, and I had a great ride yesterday. My first outing back on the trails and I was definitely feeling the fear as the ride is a bit more eroded, especially around the plank bridges. A few more wee drops to contend with. I am such a wussie for my first few (5, 15, 25) times out on trails each summer. I realized part way through that I had been putting the DEATH grip on my handle bars when negotiating the hills and bridges so I eased up a bit but still felt my legs shaking partly out of fear and partly out of fatigue. Then noticed at the end that I had completely cranked down my front suspension for a town trip a couple of weeks ago. Hence the parasthesia in both my forearms at the end! Whoops. Still a bit zingy today. Got back to the Cozy Cabin to find James had whipped up a pasta carbonara. It was delicious. In our muddied bike attire we enjoyed the last of the white wine from their wedding and a taste of Ravens Wood Zinfandel before heading home for the night.

It's those kind of nights which make this time and place perfect. And make it hard to pull myself away.

Takin' the Long Blog Home

So the new blog has been minted, Asystole is a Stable Rhythm. It'll take me a while to get it fully up and running, but I created it to keep the medical things and the so-called life things separate. During the transition keep checking here. In the meantime, bear with the journal of events interspersed with occasional medical tales.

I met Keith at a volleyball camp when we were both 15. He was half goth half surfer dude with bleached blond hair and Hawaiian shirts over baggy shorts...or else black sweaters with holes worn in the sleeves for his thumbs and dyed black hair.

We became fast friends and even though we lived almost 8h away from each other and neither of us could drive, we stayed close through the gruesome hell which was high school. Strange when I think about it now because that was before email and texting. We stayed in touch the old fashion way; by phone, letters, visits chauffeured by our mothers. We went to college together and when I transfered into nursing I took Keith out to Boston Pizza (I know, sooo classy) and over a Boston Brute convinced the man that he should abandon whatever science major he was in to join me in the nursing adventure. Not sure how I did it to be exact, but he did hear my plea and saved me from isolation and despair. He crossed the floor. So the two of us set about trying to carve our identities out in a program which seemed to push us to the fringes. We certainly didn't fit in. Much to our excitement, one day we discovered Lana. Another non-conformist who had an open mind and some worldly travels under her belt. The best part though was that she liked to drink beer in the biker blues bar we often frequented. How could we not be friends? So it was that we became a three pack.

So it seemed fitting that on my last night in E-ville this summer, at the end of this part of the journey I should have the joy of dining with those dear friends. You know, the ones who help you stumble to your tent at music festivals, help you finish your patient care plans, and do all the work on the group project for you when your dad dies.

Myself, Keith and Lana 8 years later, in front of my favorite restaurant.

Enter Kara. Childhood friend Numero Uno.


We met when we were 3. At the pool apparently, though neither of us remember. Her mom babysat me when we were wee. What I do remember from those early days is she had the My Little Pony ranch and the Barbie mansion so she was as dialed as any friend could ever be. We were both alpha females so the first 10 years involved almost constant fighting, but once we got that ironed out we were solid. There were many hours spent in the 'time out chair' and trying to negotiate our way out of afternoon naps. But our childhood couldn't have been much more blissful. Playing outside all day, riding skidoos, running around the farm, making snow forts and mud castles. Her folks were strong Christians so pretty much every bad thing Kara ever did was with me (and to that effect, every good thing I probably did was with her).

Last weekend she was out visiting her parents so I offered to give her a ride back to the coast, thus allowing us some catch up time on the 11h drive together.

Recovering forests.
The 'Tunnels of Death' as I like to call them. Ughhh..I shudder every time we have to go through one...
I had a sudden flash back to a trip out to the coast 10 years ago (before going into nursing) where on this very stretch of highway I announced to my roommate that I was going to get into medicine. I was going to transfer into all the pre requisites I needed and put everything into acing school. Well, it didn't quite work out like that obviously. I did horribly in all of those classes. I'd get nose bleeds in physics, I panicked and blanked out in my 2nd chem midterm. I was so stressed I could hardly breathe most of the time. I dropped everything except Bio (which I barely scraped by in). I pretty much gave up on the possibility. For years I convinced myself that I couldn't do it. Wasn't smart enough. Didn't have a 'science' brain. My confidence and dreams of medicine dwindled into almost nothing. It took me 10 years to get up the guts to try again. This time it took. And now I was driving over these same mountains with a new perception of myself. I learned some important things this year, none of them pertaining to the laws of physics or chemistry.
I felt myself freed from the 'if only' mantra that had played itself in the back of my head all these years. If only I could do physics. If only I could do chemistry.
Well, the joke is on you, 'if only' !
'Cuz I did it.

Now we were talking about life, the universe, and everything after. Our female-only vessel stopped at almost every gas station to pee. We drank too much coffee, sang along to the Jayhawks, ate greasy fast food, and loved every minute of it.

We left Hope behind and headed to Vancouver...like so many before us...

"This road trip was brought to you by...VISA".

I arrived in my former mountain town to visit a male who still wants to impress me. Romeo. He's an omega male who chews cardboard to impress the chicks when they come over. You still got it Romeo!

Aside from seeing Romeo, I had the great pleasure of running through the emerald forest with Janet, eating her fine cooking, and catching up with the rest of her family...including her son and my surrogate brother-from-another-mother, Boy.

Since I was leaving early in the am, I paid a late night visit to another gem of nursing school, Rosie (and her man, Dave). Many years have gone by since we've seen each other in the flesh, but it really seems like it was only weeks ago we were bringing in the New Year on Hornby Island, in a cozy Yurt that had the 'Rhyme of the Ancient Mariner' written on the walls.

After breakfast with another blast from my past, Jay, I hopped back on the Sea to Sky highway. Right now it is more like a parking lot with a few 50km/h zones along the way.
Oh 2010 olympics, hear my curse and see my tiny fist waving at the sky!!!

Amazing what a line of credit can get you these days! Yes we were being the plebs in the spa with an automatic timer. Whatev. It made us laugh!

After being 'ladies who lunch and spa' we became 'ladies who whip up delicious salad rolls, chicken marbella, wild rice, summer salad, and lemony dessert for dinner'.

But like all good and bad things my little road trip (all 2100 km in 4 days!) had to come to an end. I hopped back in my non air conditioned ride and headed to the interior. After a great lunch with a former prof and friend in K-Town I drove the last stretch of highway which by now I could just about do in my sleep. I was excited to be heading back to my little mountain abode, complete with John and many opened armed friends who I've missed dearly all year.

This is my favorite spot of the drive as the mountains suddenly appear after coming around the bend.

"I'm coming home, Mountains!! I'm coming home!!"

Then I the reality check that sometimes summer on the TransCanada is no better than winter on the TransCanada!

Another fist raised at the sky...damn you tour buses!!!!
And damn you rental RV's!!!
And double damn you rental RV's with boats on the back and drivers who are clueless to what having a boat on the back means!!

And then, just like that, I was home.

The adventure begins. Well it wasn't so much of an adventure really. It mostly involved driving, reading, studying, eating, and sleeping. But somewhat akin to adventure in how it tested the bounds of my discipline and dedication to a goal that is a long long long way off. I suppose that I just have to remember that sometimes things are closer than they appear.