Proof the World Is Coming to an End

I saw this today at the grocery store and thought: Really? Do people actually eat marshmallow "salad"? If they do it is proof Armageddon is on the horizon.

I Could Probably Handle It...

So there I was sitting at a table for 4. Alone with my great current book, "Animal, Vegetable, Miracle" by Kingsolver. Alone in fact, in the entire restaurant. Staring out across the ocean, watching the sun drop out of the sky.

I was enjoying some black bean soup and a coffee, mulling over the options for medical school this coming year. The thought of traveling across the world is, to say the least, daunting. Far away from family, friends, my favorite deli's, snow, and the mountains.

My two acceptances so far have been to Caribbean schools which, the ones I'm accepted to, have great reputations, encouraging match statistics for residencies, and really unique opportunities for 3rd and 4th year clerkships. But it is a fact that the island students have to prove themselves, which can be a good or a bad thing. I know I will be a strong student with my nursing background so that doesn't scare me off too much. But the distance and the IMG status does cause me to hesitate a wee bit.

But then I sat back and sipped on my coffee and thought...

Nah...I think I can handle the hurdles...

SUCCESS!

So if there is anybody out there--I'm pretty excited to announce that I have been accepted to 2 medical schools!

So...now I just have to wait to hear back from the other 12 that I applied to...sadly the interview offers for the rest don't come out until February or later...

If there are still some of you out there...I promise I have emerged from the cave that I crawled into after India and will get back to posting again more regularly.

In some ways this knowledge that I am now for sure going to medical school is...almost hard to wrap my head around. I have spent so much time and money and made so many sacrifices to get to this point I almost thought that there would be fireworks and cartwheels when I found out.

But it was just a large envelope and at the time no one to jump up and down with. It did seem a little empty. Of course my family was over the moon but everything almost seemed bittersweet.

Anyway now there appears to be someone who is going to come along for the ride so...fingers crossed...

She's Baaaaaackkkk....

Hello friends near and far.

Happy to be safe and sound (and enjoying hot showers and electricity again)!

I am hanging out with my family while I wait for my interview on Wednesday. Bought a snazzy suit to wear, hoping it sees more than one MD school interview!

After that, still not sure where I am heading as I am in the process of negotiating my next work contract...NWT? Nunavut? Yukon? BC? Remains to be seen. Maybe someone will hire me as their personal chef and I can take a break from nursing all together. Yeah. That might happen!

I've decided to post the trip chronicles on Asystole. I've also got my pics uploaded on flickr...if you want the link, drop me a line.

Looking forward to catching up with people near and far. Hopefully my Delhi Belly and lower respiratory bug will both take their leave of me sooner rather than later.

Canada, I love thee...let me count the ways...

Final Days

It's no secret that I love Revy. A couple of weeks ago I went home and spent a few days sadly packing up my things to put into storage. It's hard to pack up when you don't know when and where you'll be unpacking.

To procrastinate, I went for one last road ride.

Finally, everything was done. And we loaded up James' jeep, Peanut, and the Cosmic Valise. I moseyed over to the storage space and that was that. A month ago I had a nice little house in the mountains. Now I have a swank storage space. Amazing how things change. I suppose the house didn't really anchor me, but with that gone I do feel like I am floating up...up...and away. No idea where I'll land when I get back from India. So far I am leaving the work thing open as I am still hoping to go to Whitehorse this winter. Time will tell. Looking at everything in there certainly makes me wonder...what is really worth keeping? Some of those boxes haven't even been opened since they were in storage in Victoria. I feel a purge coming on with my next move.

Does anyone have a gasoline soaked rag and a match??

As a final insult to the melancholy feeling of leaving a rainbow appeared. Yes. Like I didn't already know that this town was where the friggin' rainbow ended.
Sheesh.

Thankfully, Luc and Anna hosted a wicked jam that night and I proceeded to sing my troubles away. I couldn't have asked for a better send of. There were many fabulous musicians there that evening and I was pleased to have the opportunity to chuck along with them.

And so begins the next chapter.

Life Actually

Two weekends ago James, Verena, Aaron, Simone, unborn child (currently residing in Simone) and I went on a weekend jaunt to the mountains near Nakusp. It was a great way to come down from the stress of the last month, er...months, er... year...

I am useless when it comes to knowing where I am, knowing what to pack, knowing what plants could kill me, knowing if I should drink the water or not...this is where James and Verena really came in handy.

They did the map reading.

Okay, we all make mistakes.

Still looking for the trail head...

Eventually we did find it. And we were off. There were many jokes made regarding my poor packing abilities, as demonstrated by the multitude of things hanging off of my pack. Really, it had nothing to do with trying to be cool looking (though I did wish I would have brought an ice screw to hang off the side of my pack, just in case...) No, it was more to do with the fact that once the snow pants, down jacket, rain gear, sleeping bag, spare runners, and food were in, there was little room left for the tent and extra food divvied up at the last minute...Laugh all you want, I DID get an "A" in PE James!!! :)

I think this was James pointing out my ability to build a spacious lean-to with only twigs and moss...

Observe, Newlyus weddus.
Rarely seen in captivity. Though do seem to thrive in National Parks.
Often try to blend with surroundings whilst eating their prey...

More pointing.

We did get some great views...

Okay...you get the drift.

Just one more...

Efficient wood collection.

Okay, I'll stop now for real.

Simone in her racy rain gear. Meeeaaoowww!

We didn't let the cold temperatures and rain keep us from rockin' out (or rather, folkin' out).

Ahhh..down jackets under rain jackets...are we in BC?

We sort of dropped the ball on the fact that it was the long weekend and the ferry would likely take forever...but...the long line didn't stop us from enjoying ourselves.

Another roadside attraction.
(And a chance to dry the orthotics.)

Verena's violin carried down to the water, serenading near and far.

Fin.

How it Was

Again, apologies for the double post. Ah, instead of double post, how about this...if you wish to read my sappy monologue regarding the MCAT check out asystole.

It's been a crazy couple of weeks...more couch surfing with my suitcase on wheels.

I realized that in the past 4 months I've stayed at 11 different places, and attended 2 universities in 2 different provinces. Lost my boyfriend, my house, and nearly my sanity. Not an ideal situation to prepare for the biggest exam of my life. Still smiling though.

Well, that chapter is done. There was some celebrating post MCAT...

(Really, I only had that one beer...I swear).

Next day me and Cosmic Valise (my car) hit the road.

Then hit the breaks for a couple of hours on a closed TransCanada while an overturned semi and all it's lumber was collected.

And back to the mountains I went.

'Twas the Night Before MCAT....

Dear Blog Readers (yes I believe that I can make 'reader' plural),

In case you haven't pieced the obvious together I am writing the MCAT tomorrow.

I am desperately trying to be zen about the whole thing, which is proving near futile.

I know that the score tomorrow isn't going to define the rest of my life, and that it will not dictate if I get into med school or where. It may throw a wrench into the "when" part of the equation if I bomb it as I will have to rewrite and reapply (oh JOY!) again next year.

Ahh, next year. I can't even think about that.

This will be the longest and most intense exam I have written to date. So if any of you out there have any vibrant words of encouragement, last minute strategies, personal anecdotes of how you were bombing practice exams and then shone like an Asian prodigy on test day, or tips for what/how much to eat/drink during the 3 alloted 10 minute breaks it would be much appreciated. You can email me at subtleanvil(at)gmail.com if you don't want the blogosphere to know that you soiled yourself on test day but still got into Stanford.

I will spend the rest of the day trying to fight the urge to curl into the fetal position and suck my thumb and/or watch reruns of 'The Office' on my laptop.

1200h MST tomorrow...please send God/Allah/Buddha/Confucius/Mother Earth/Pan/Universe--whatever you believe in--- a shout-out on on my behalf.

Studiously yours,

ABB

P.S Please forgive the double-posting. It's getting down to the wire so I can't justify the time to make two separate postings on MCAT-eve.

Heart Ache

I like to think of myself as a fairly politically minded person, though my personality is one of fence sitting---which I know drives very politically minded people insane.

So I generally keep my opinions to yelling at the radio and spouting undereducated opinions off over wine at small gatherings with my near and dear ones.

I don't want to make my personal blog space the forum for political debate so I mostly keep my politics out, but todays current events have made my heart heavy with sadness and I needed to make a post about our military's ongoing occupation of Afghanistan (I know that is not the word I am supposed to use but clearly that is how some Afghanis see it).

Today three more Canadian soldiers where killed in the Zhari district. The names have not been released, except for one, Sgt. Shawn Eades aged 33. Husband, son, father of two girls aged 7 and 4. These three deaths are on the heels of other Canadians recently killed; Master Cpl. Erin Doyle, Master Cpl. Josh Roberts, and volunteer aid workers Jacqueline Kirk of Montreal and Shirley Case of Williams Lake, B.C.

Sgt. Shawn Eades

Master Cpl. Erin Doyle

Master Cpl. Josh Roberts

Both of my brothers are soldiers. Shandy is a retired infantry L.Col. and Russ is a RSM combat engineer who is also known internationally for his expertise in post blast forensics. They both have done numerous overseas tours and have each spent time in Afghanistan. Both have seen things that have changed them, both have lost comrades. The three that died today were combat engineers from my brothers Battalion.

In the morning my alarm is set to CBC radio so I hear the news first thing. When my brothers are away my stomach leaps to my throat when those early morning broadcasts announce another Canadian death. As soon as I hear from one of my sister-in-laws or the names are released I breathe a sigh of relief. That only lasts a second before it is replaced with guilt, knowing my relief means that suffering has befallen another family, or families.

I support our troops. Think our military is something to be proud of and have not ruled out the possibly of joining myself. But that aside, every time we lose another soldier over there I have to ask the question, for what?

Supporting the troops and thinking they ought to come home are not mutually exclusive sentiments. I believe we ought to cheer when they come home, show them how proud we are of their efforts. But it doesn't change the questions in my mind: what are we dying over there for? Does being a presence there 'free' people who are oppressed by religion and culture that dates back thousands of years?

Or does it only create a stronger resistance? More terrorists? More bombs?

I don't have the answer, nor can I pretend to have enough knowledge on the matters at hand to take any stance other than--will someone please tell me why we are there when NATO's piddly effort shows that most of the world doesn't care. Is it our duty to pick up the slack?

And my other belief...our men and women are losing their lives in a war that isn't ours.

Bring them home. Alive. Not in body bags.

To the families and soldiers that have suffered losses; be it wounds to the spirit, mind, or body, my heart aches for you and my prayers go out to you.

A Cranky Couch Surfer

I am too tired, stressed, and sad to write anything interesting, funny, or engaging right now.

But here is a little post for me to look back on someday and say,

"yes, job well done...you really stuck it out when it seemed like the sky was falling".

Because that is how it feels right now. Falling. Crashing down all around.

It's been one of those weeks where more often than not I say to myself, "what the hell am I doing all of this for?"

Why can't I be settled and happy? Why do I feel like I am doomed to be "always roaming with a hungry heart..."?

What I wouldn't give for a good nights sleep right now. Well not right now. I am trying to memorize all the parts of the citric acid cycle right now.

On the Road Again

Today I was recording on to my ipod some of the 500 pages of biology notes that I have to somehow memorize on top of the 1200 other pages of chemistry and physics notes left to plow through. Please don't take it personally if I have a far off look in my eye or seem somewhat distracted.

Even reading them out loud was nearly putting me to sleep. This does not bode well for the 5 then 9 hours of driving I have ahead of me over the next few days.

As much as I want to make a permanent butt-groove on the kitchen chairs here at K & S's place, I need to hit my former home and pick up a bunch of paperwork, see the gang that I have been missing, and get back on the TransCanada.

Two weeks left 'till MCAT as of tomorrow. Soon I will descend into the cone of silence. All communication lines will be cut until after the 26th. I've been madly writing and rewriting my application letter essays and harassing my referees. The sheer cost alone of applying is mind boggling...just the application fees and mcat alone are starting to run near the 5000$ mark. It's crazy. Crazy. Crazy.

So, if you live in a mountain town that starts with the letter 'R' you'll likely see me peering through your screen door in a couple of days before I turn into a wisp of smoke again.

The Internet is Weird

Okay, you beat me to the punch this time Ry. Consider it a freebie. I "copied" your post theme on my other blog.

Hope you don't mind.

"Aystole" needed some Raffi and some AC Cobra to bring the hits in so....in an act of shameless self promotion...well...read it for yourself...

You can thank me later for the popularity due to the link I posted on Asystole. :)

A Happy BC Day!

To celebrate BC day (okay I didn't even know that was the reason for the holiday) I scampered up 'natures stairmaster' with my pal Craig who happens to be here on the Left Coast as well this week.

We had a leisurely lunch, he named my largest blister "Uncle Fester" and I enjoyed watching the clouds rise up from the valley.

I love this province.

The next day I got up and Kara served me coffee in this mug.
It is kind of hard to make out but that is me on the left and her on the right, we were having a birthday party for our cabbage patch dolls that day.

The bad font in hot pink says, "Friends Forever".
And 25 years later I couldn't be more grateful to have her as a friend, and thankful to her and Stephen for letting me be the house house guest that cries more days than not, works odd hours, has physics texts strewn on the kitchen table at all times, and drinks their coffee.

Still Got "It" Apparently

Kara and I went for a long run today along the sea wall and it was fabulous. Overcast, some scattered misting rain and light winds. I was lovin' it. At the end we stood under an awning to stretch as the rain started coming down with a purpose. Kara darted out from between a couple of cars in front of an oncoming new Subaru Forester. I stopped and waited for said car to pass but he came to a stop and rolled down his window motioning me to go. As I darted across the street he stuck his 30-something-mountain-mannish head out the window and said to me

"you still got it...you STILL got it!"

I howled.

Kara said its the running skirt.

Normally I get all feminist-ranty and belligerent when it comes to cat calling. But there is something about a recent break up that makes you feel slug-like, invisible, and asexual all at the same time. So having some random stranger with a sport-rack on his station wagon tell me that I still "got it" felt pretty darn good.

Headin' for the Himalayas!

Please forgive the double post. I don't know who reads what anymore...

Sent off the deposit today for a month long volunteering trip to the Indian Himalayas. I have to be in Delhi to meet the group on Oct 2nd. I am pretty EXCITED! And a little scared.

I've been longing to go back to India and Nepal since I was there 9 years ago. Ack! 9 years ago? Really??? Oh my. Now I feel old. Or maybe now I realize how young I was....so that was why my mother was having a nervous breakdown for the entire 7 months that I was gone!

They are very clear on the application forms and waivers that one has to be in "top physical shape" as we must get to the villages/settlements on foot, it's not a cushy land-rover-to-destination-trip. One of the passes is almost 14 000ft! Somehow I think it'll be a little more rugged than the last time I was close to that elevation...

And I figure if I am going to be in that neck of the woods, and spend the money and carbon footprint getting there...well....heck maybe I should stick around and head up to Nepal for a few weeks for some more trekking...any takers??

Training starts tomorrow.

Broken but Joyful

The missionaries from Vernon that were brutally attacked in Kenya at the beginning of the month have returned home to Canada at the urging of their family members. They were working with a Kelowna based mission that is working with orphaned children and women displaced by the civil war.

I watched the CBC clip this morning and it moved me to tears.

I read the article in the paper when it initially happened and was sickened by the details of their assault (which CBC news left out). Suffice to say what happened to Eloise Bergen was nothing short of torture.

I must say that I admire the fact that even when interviewed in hospital they both stated that they forgave their attackers and wished to tell them that face to face once they were physically able to visit the men in prison. Also, they plan to return to Kenya, which to me is astounding. Such brave, determined people.

I commend their grace and courage, and send them my prayers. They are an inspiration.

Big Read List

I saw this on a fellow med bloggers site. Y'all who know me know that reading is definitely one of my favorite hobbies. Wait...can reading be considered a hobby? Or is it just a pass time?

Not sure who created it, but it is interesting to read the "meme list" and see which ones you have read. So here it is:

“The Big Read reckons that the average adult has only read 6 of the top 100 books they’ve printed.”

1) Bold: I have read.
2) Books with a star (*): Books I love.
3) Reprint this list in your own blog so we can try and track down these people who’ve read 6 and force books upon them.

1. Pride and Prejudice- Jane Austen

2. The Lord of the Rings - JRR Tolkien

3. Jane Eyre* - Charlotte Bronte

4. The Harry Potter Series - JK Rowling (I haven't read the entire series.)

5. To Kill a Mockingbird - Harper Lee

6. The Bible-Though I must admit not cover to cover…

7 . Wuthering Heights - Emily Bronte

8. Nineteen Eighty Four* - George Orwell

9. His Dark Materials – Phillip Pullman

10. Great Expectations – Charles Dickens

11. Little Women - Louisa M Alcott

12. Tess of the D’Urbervilles - Thomas Hardy

13. Catch 22 - Joseph Heller

14 . The Complete works of Shakespeare (I've read many of them, but not all.)

15. Rebecca - Daphne Du Maurier

16. The Hobbit* -J.R.R. Tolkien

17. Birdsong – Sebastian Faulks

18. Catcher in the Rye - JD Salinger

19. The Time Traveler's Wife*- Audrey Niffenegger

20. Middlemarch - George Eliot

21. Gone With The Wind - Margaret Mitchell

22. The Great Gatsby - F Scott Fitzgerald

23. Bleak House - Charles Dickens

24. War and Peace - Leo Tolstoy

25. The Hitch Hiker’s Guide to the Galaxy* - Douglas Adams

26. Brideshead Revisited – Evelyn Waugh

27. Crime and Punishment - Fyodor Dostoyevsky

28. Grapes of Wrath* - John Steinbeck

29. Alice in Wonderland- Lewis Carroll

30 . The Wind in the Willows - Kenneth Grahame

31. Anna Karenina - Leo Tolstoy

32. David Copperfield – Charles Dickens

33. Chronicles of Narnia* - CS Lewis

34 . Emma - Jane Austen

35. Persuasion- Jane Austen

36. The Lion, The Witch and The Wardrobe* - CS Lewis

37. The Kite Runner - Khaled Hosseini

38. Captain Corelli’s Mandolin - Louis De Bernieres

39. Memoirs of a Geisha - Arthur Golden

40. Winnie the Pooh - AA Milne

41. Animal Farm - George Orwell

42. The Da Vinci Code - Dan Brown

43. One Hundred Years of Solitude - Gabriel Garcia Marquez

44. A Prayer for Owen Meaney - John Irving

45. The Woman in White - Wilkie Collins

46. Anne of Green Gables - LM Montgomery

47. Far From The Madding Crowd - Thomas Hardy

48. The Handmaid’s Tale - Margaret Atwood

49. Lord of the Flies – William Golding

50. Atonement - Ian McEwan

51. Life of Pi - Yann Martel

52. Dune- Frank Herbert

53. Cold Comfort Farm - Stella Gibbons

54. Sense and Sensibility - Jane Austen

55. A Suitable Boy - Vikram Seth

56. The Shadow of the Wind - Carlos Ruiz Zafon

57. A Tale Of Two Cities - Charles Dickens

59. The Curious Incident of the Dog in the Night-time - Mark Haddon

60. Love In The Time Of Cholera - Gabriel Garcia Marquez

61. Of Mice and Men - John Steinbeck

62. Lolita - Vladimir Nabokov

63. The Secret History - Donna Tartt

64. The Lovely Bones - Alice Sebold

65. Count of Monte Cristo - Alexandre Dumas

66. On The Road - Jack Kerouac

67. Jude the Obscure - Thomas Hardy

68. Bridget Jones’s Diary - Helen Fielding

69. Midnight’s Children - Salman Rushdie

70. Moby Dick – Herman Melville

71. Oliver Twist - Charles Dickens

72. Dracula - Bram Stoker

73. The Secret Garden - Frances Hodgson Burnett

74. Notes From A Small Island - Bill Bryson

75. Ulysses - James Joyce

76. The Bell Jar - Sylvia Plath

77. Swallows and Amazons

78. Germinal - Emile Zola

79. Vanity Fair - William Makepeace Thackeray

80. Possession - AS Byatt

81. A Christmas Carol - Charles Dickens

82 Cloud Atlas - David Mitchell

83. The Color Purple - Alice Walker

84. The Remains of the Day - Kazuo Ishiguro

85. Madame Bovary - Gustave Flaubert

86. A Fine Balance - Rohinton Mistry

87. Charlotte’s Web - EB White

88. The Five People You Meet In Heaven – Mitch Albom

89. Adventures of Sherlock Holmes - Sir Arthur Conan Doyle

90. The Faraway Tree Collection – Enid Blyton

91. Heart of Darkness - Joseph Conrad

92. The Little Prince* – Antoine de St. Exupery

93. The Wasp Factory – Iain Banks

94. Watership Down - Richard Adams

95. A Confederacy of Dunces – John Kennedy Toole

96. A Town like Alice- Nevil Shute

97. The Three Musketeers - Alexandre Dumas

98. Hamlet- William Shakespeare

99. Charlie and the Chocolate Factory - Roald Dahl

100. Les Miserables – Victor Hugo


An interesting list if nothing else. If it is a list of top 100 books published it makes sense because popularity does not necessarily equate to quality (case in point, the Da Vinci Code), though many on the list are books I've definitely enjoyed.

A few I'd add by the listed authors...if you're going to read Dahl, you have to read "James and the Giant Peach", "Saturday" by Ian McEwan, and "The Blind Assassin" by Atwood.

Looks like I've got some reading to do! I think my count was 34.

Reading...after my mcat that is...

Kitchen Counsel

I have been working nights the past two weeks. And it has been smoking hot here. And life is in a shambles. Which has caused me to turn to the place where I can focus my mind and channel my turmoil into good things, delicious offerings...the kitchen.

I figured it would be a nice treat to make dinner every night for my friends that I am currently staying with...a trade of sorts.
The meals have so far included: BBQ peaches, shrimp, and bok choy drizzled with a spicy peanut peach sauce over rice...another night I tweaked the fig, gorgonzola, prosciutto, roasted garlic, caramelized onion pizza served with warm asparagus and rocket salad, topped with sweet shallot vinaigrette and grated pecorino. Then there was the chicken and spicy turkey sausage cacciatore, which had simmered in red wine, fresh basil, garlic, and sweet organic grape tomatoes...oh that was a good one. I am definitely going to work on that one.

But on Saturday Kara and I took a mental health day and went to the ocean, picnicked at the harbor and walked along the sea wall for almost three hours.

We had some good laughs.

And attempted to take flight.

It was great. And let me tell you I will definitely be stealing the cilantro crème fraiche idea. Oh yeah. Note white dipping sauce. The truffle mashed potatoes were nothing to sneeze at either.
And yes, the Sangria was delicious. Although...I think mine is better. The secret is elderflower cordial. I guess that makes it not a secret. Now three more people know how I make my Sangria.

Two therapeutic hours in an amazing organic market downtown and I nearly felt human again.

Our loot.

But the best. The best part of the day was finding some fresh smoked black cod. Kara gave me the "am I going to need to give you an olanzapine wafer?" look when I started jumping up and down at the discovery of the white-fleshed treasure.

Albinoblackbear's Fish Rub (mostly to be used with the elusive fresh black cod fillet)

1/2 cup brown sugar
2 tsp sweet paprika
2 tsp chili powder
1-2 tbsp coarse sea salt
pinch of smoked salt
1 tbsp garlic powder
2 tsp cumin

Pat fillets dry. Rub. Then rub with rub. Throw in oven on low broil until brown sugar is starting to caramelize. Then drop heat to 350 F until fish is cooked through (keep checking because you don't want to overdo it).

Warm Shallot Dressing à la Yowza

3 shallots diced so fine you can hardly handle it
1/2 cup olive oil
2 tbsp grainy mustard
3 tbsp brown sugar
1/2 cup cider vinegar
pinch of sambal olek (or rather--tiny dollop)
2 tsp dry mustard

Mix everything up, fry on low heat until shallots are translucent. Add 150g of fine Italian prosciutto, warm briefly. Add handfuls and handfuls of spinach and toss until wilted.
Throw in a bowl with some non-wilted spinach. Maybe a wee bit of feta.

Serve with the cod and be prepared for marriage proposals.
Or at least very happy house mates.


*All measurements are total guesses. Well, educated guesses. But guesses nonetheless. Taste everything as you go along and adjust.

Flight of the Conchords - Business Time

Okay...I know that posting something from Youtube is a cop out in terms of posts...but if you have 3:33 min watch this video!

You'll never look at "business socks" the same ever again.

Enjoy!

Wayward Human

So I've been out here on the West Coast for a week now, starting to feel somewhat settled in. Getting back to work has been good and bad. It is nice to use my brain and skills in the health care world again...but I can't lie...nursing has reached it's expiry date for me.

Don't get me wrong, I still love patient care, and working in the ER but the whole politic of cajoling doctors is just beginning to be too much. I have to make a case to give a pain med to someone, or order a chest x-ray on a patient that I think has heart failure instead of liver failure (he did have heart failure), or suggest further sedation while he's reducing a spiral tib fib fracture...I am just tired of it. I can't see spending the next 20 years of my life trying to not come across as pushy, trying to make it seem like it's their idea, and trying to be an advocate for my patients at the same time. Not exactly the formula for a fulfilling career.

Well, for now it'll do.

MCAT studying is going OK. Though I wish I had a few more months to do it.

Still don't know where to go, where to live now.

I am hoping some lightening bolt hits me with the answer.

Ta Ta For Now

It is absolutely pouring outside. I am packing up my car to drive to the coast for a couple (few?) weeks and realizing that this time I didn't even get a chance to unpack my duffel completely before having to fill it up again.

I do chuckle at the few creature comforts I bring with me everywhere. Like an old lady-I have my tempurpedic pillow, like an OCD insomniac a fan for white noise. Got my 4 pairs of running shoes, about 11 books I hope to get through, my favorite tank top that I sleep in, a thermos full of (and several boxes of ) my favorite tea, cue cards, study guides...

I am feeling a bit down. I spent some time on Cute Overload and Fail Blog to cheer me up. And then I gave my head a shake. (Not because I was wasting time on blogs when I should have been studying...) No, I gave my head a shake because though everything feels so uncertain I know I have a lot to be thankful for.

All of my friends here are so good to me. James and Verena have essentially been feeding and watering me since I came home on Monday, when I got home from their place there was a tin foil package and a note tucked into my door. It was at that exact moment I knew I lived in an amazing community.

It was late, and I was coming home to a dark house. A bit sad and lonely and there was this little food offering. I smiled and thought, hmmm....I wonder who this came from? Because it could have been so many people! I wasn't thinking 'oh , that must be so-and-so dropping off food again' I was running through all my peeps here, Sylvia? Ann Marie? Mandy? Anna? Alice?

A thoughtful gesture from Alice, in fact, which showed me the thoughtful nature of everyone in our group. It's nice to feel loved.

Which is part of the reason why it will be so hard to leave R-town.

For now I am working a 2 week contract out west, then hoping to find a little place to hide for the next month while I cram for the MCAT. After that I have no idea where I will go for work or where I will live. It's a bit overwhelming so I try not to think about it. If housing works out here maybe I will stay, but with the resort here now buying another house is just not possible and the rental market is dismal. I'm too old and in need of my own kitchen for a roommate....so we'll see.

Anna, Verena, and I had a great ride yesterday. My first outing back on the trails and I was definitely feeling the fear as the ride is a bit more eroded, especially around the plank bridges. A few more wee drops to contend with. I am such a wussie for my first few (5, 15, 25) times out on trails each summer. I realized part way through that I had been putting the DEATH grip on my handle bars when negotiating the hills and bridges so I eased up a bit but still felt my legs shaking partly out of fear and partly out of fatigue. Then noticed at the end that I had completely cranked down my front suspension for a town trip a couple of weeks ago. Hence the parasthesia in both my forearms at the end! Whoops. Still a bit zingy today. Got back to the Cozy Cabin to find James had whipped up a pasta carbonara. It was delicious. In our muddied bike attire we enjoyed the last of the white wine from their wedding and a taste of Ravens Wood Zinfandel before heading home for the night.

It's those kind of nights which make this time and place perfect. And make it hard to pull myself away.

Proud to Call Her "Friend"

I am certainly one of those people that is blessed with friends and family that motivate and inspire me. The good peeps in my life are always amazing me with their feats and accomplishments. I could go into a litany of examples but for the sake of brevity let me just make a

BIG SHOUT OUT TO ANN MARIE FOR WINNING THE CALGARY MARATHON!!!!!!!!

Yep. My homegirl, AMG, despite having a completely torn ACL since December, and despite the fact that she's only run 2 previous marathons EVER bagged first place with a time of 3:08.

So way to go girl. Everyone is so proud of you! I've been bragging to random people I come across...you know...the guy at the gas station, the girl bagging my groceries, etc.

Check out the hilarious and awesome posting on their blog about her victory.

Congrats girl. Way to set the bar so high that most of us can't even see it now!!!

(Just promise you'll remember the little people...heck I have proof that "I knew you when"--note the photo with iceberg in the background on right corner of this page :)

At the Jedi Assisted Living Community

Everyone who knows me knows that I am not a 'cat person' per se. However. This video appeared on "Cute Overload" and essentially, it made my week.

It also kind of captures how I am feeling these days.

It's been a rough week.

Is This the 6th or 7th Circle??

I'm melting...mmeeellllllttiinnggg!

It's my blog so I am going to say it. I hate summer. Really. I find nothing more irritating than being hot. Everyone who says "oh I love these nice sunny days" is saying that because all they do on those days is sit on their deck drinking beer, or sit in their air-conditioned office after driving to work in their air conditioned cars. They are not banished to various corners of their houses studying for an exam, with a fan on full-blast right in their faces. They are not trying to lose the paunch that came (free of charge) with their 6 week o-chem class.

Running has essentially become sun stroke roulette and unless I get up at 0500h or go at 2200h I am banking on nearly passing out. This displeases me. Running=good. Hot sun=bad.

I had to go to the hospital yesterday to get a TB skin test so I figured I'd run up there, thus multitasking my exercise and errand for the day. After nearly sliding off the vinyl chairs in the waiting room I sweat myself all over the magazines and then all over AM while she administered the injection. On the way home the temp was around 32°C (90°F).

I thought I was going...to...die. At the bottom of the hill near the river I was hoping for some cool breezes off the water but nope! It felt more like a sticky flower scented dish rag landed on me as I neared the banks.

Even after my shower I was sweating while trying to get dressed. GAK!

In the evening Syl and I had planned to go for a road ride (I've only ever ridden on my beefy XC bike) but due to a chain of events she had to bail. I was pretty amped to go still so I borrowed her bike and off I went.

OMG!!!!!

Am I the last person on the planet to discover that ROAD RIDING RULES??? I swear, I can't believe I have been on this earth for 28 years and have never discovered the amazing sport that is road riding. You get to go fast, it's a kick ass workout, the bugs can't bother you, and it is less likely that I'll endo/box myself every couple of kilometers or so. Yes, working ER at the bottom of a mountain which was home to a downhill bike park HAS made me even more of a poonce than I care to admit. So yes, downhill mountain biking is a great challenge and I do love it, but visions of embedded gravel, compound fractures, broken necks, and avulsions always dance in my head when I am on ye olde single track.

But last night, it was just me, the river, the sunset, the music, the mountains. Bliss. No visions of anything sinister dancing in my head.

It was stunning. I was in heaven. Not Dante's Inferno. The evening air off the water was like a swirling breeze from late fall, crisp and fresh.

At the 10 mile mark the road turned to gravel so I decided to also turn around. But it was so spectacular, I can't wait to get back in the saddle! And now I finally have a way to cross train!!!

YIPPEEEE!!!

As Joel Plaskett so aptly sings
there's a reason that I love this town.

Oh okay....maybe summer ain't so bad after all...

Wedding Bells

So this weekend was Nature Nerd and Dr. Sno's wedding.

Now normally Albinoblackbears become recluse when such events occur, but really how could anyone miss a weekend long wedding held at an organic, biodynamic, brewery? Especially when said brewery produces my favorite stout, The Back Hand of God. So off to Sorrento it was and into the lap of the Crannóg farm.

Many moons ago I offered to be in charge of the food because I love food and it seemed like the only way I could really be of help.
It wasn't a huge task as it was a pot luck and all I basically had to do was hang out in the kitchen, cook my contribution, and boss people around. Three things I like doing at social gatherings anyway.

Note that the folks in the kitchen knew not to look me in the eye, and wisely called me only "Kitchen Master".
Okay, some of them looked me in the eye. And not everyone called me "Kitchen Master".

I still haven't decided which is hotter...men in skirts...
or

men doing dishes...
Good thing there were no men in skirts doing dishes....

All in all it was a fabulous weekend. Everything seemed to go off without a hitch. Best Man gave BEST best man speech ever, photos were great, band was awesome, beer was delicious, weather was pristine and the back seat of my car proved itself a worthy sleeping vessel.

The happy couple with Best Man and Best Woman.

The not so happy pig.