Are you a faculty member or a student?

Ouch. Now there was my first "you know you're an adult learner when" moment at the U of A this summer. Needing to activate my defunct student ID I had to head over to the computing services department and ask for a new password.

"Are you a faculty member or a student?" Was what I got. Wow. Things were feeling a bit like too tight underwear already but that really cinched it. Okay, so my youthful exuberance (ahem!) did nothing to hide the fact that I was either a returning student or keener faculty member.

I have to admit to some moments of insecurity and fish out of water sensations with my fellow organic chem classmates (or "o-chem" as the kids are calling it these days).

For starters most of them were well under the age of 25, I whined to my mother "My lab partner looks like she's 17" to which she replied with her deadpan version of comfort "that is because she is Erin".

Right.

Clearly I am out of sync with fashion, the whole legging thing really threw me off. I thought the girls were wearing skirts with 3/4 length leggings under because of the "no bare legs" rule in the lab. But no. Even on no lab days it was a trend that jerked me back to high school girls when I was in elementary school--where have all the feathered bangs gone though? is the question.

No more visa on campus either. HELLO! Some of us are working on aeroplan miles here people. When I complained to the chem store guy asking him "what kind of university is this?" he replied "welcome to the university of life--well I guess you've been going to that university for a while". HARSH! And then refused to believe that he didn't need to sell me the special lab goggles that go over glasses/contacts.

I hiss in his general direction.

But not only has the uni changed I guess, so have I. I remember my former schedule when I was doing my undergrad:
-wake up at last possible minute, pull clean-ish clothes off floor, apply toque to head and eat coffee for breakfast....arrive last, leave first. Spend as little time as possible on campus.
-go home, put on cleaner clothes, go to live music venue and drink rusty nails all night...except on the nights when I was waitressing--or the night before term paper due, only a few hours of rusty nail drinking, then paper writing until 7 am.

This time around it looked more like:
-rise at 5:45, eat breakfast in car while driving 45 mins to uni. Meet with tutor for 2 hours before class, review notes, drink excessive amounts of T-Ho's. Go to pre-class help session for 1h before class. Sit in lecture then lab for next 6.5h. Do homework at uni, study. Do extra questions. Work on lab. Study for quiz next day. eat dinner somewhere in there. Pass out on bed totally sober and depressed after midnight. Repeat.

I see the live shows advertised--Z-trip was playing the second week I was there. Last time I would have partied all night and recovered for three days after. This time for me the only Z-trip I saw was more than 5 hours of hydrogen-bond-breaking in-my-sleep-shut-eye.

Other new exciting differences that I noticed were--that I drive the same car that some of the kids in my class get dropped off by their mom in.
--I associated more easily with my prof and T.A's than with my fellow classmates. I also dress more like the profs than my classmates. Comfortable shoes are sooo out this year!

All in all it was an amazing challenge for me--the nerd in the front row with the dictaphone and multi-colored highlighters.

There was one rant which I posted on a certain social interface page which I will post here for those that missed my steam-let-off moment in the Central Academic Building.

Don't Reflux H2SO4 With Your Shirt Off
Okay seriously. It is sad. I am in this organic chem class right now with a bunch of tweens and yes I have been feeling a touch old....bitter...jaded. Well no, I have just been feeling like the adult learner that I am. A nerd. Who sits in the front row everyday, records the lectures, does all the homework, has a tutor, does the supplemental learning, studies everyday...

I realised that I have turned into one of those people I used to make fun of (who me?) in my undergrad. The dreaded keener-adult-learner. Well, I am not at the powerpoint making, pamphlet handing out stage of the game yet but GIMME TIME!

But seriously girls what is with the cleavage in the chem lab?? I mean really. This isn't a jealously thing either. I am perfectly secure when it comes to my twins. Honestly though, I mean--use your born-in-the-nineties brain! We are heating, distilling, mixing things like CONCENTRATED HYDROCHLORIC ACID and SULFURIC ACID! We're not baking a cake here gals! Have you heard the expression "don't fry bacon with your shirt off??" Try this one "Don't reflux hydrosulfuric acid with your tits out!"

I know, I know. Then how ever will you catch the eye of one of the dozens of pre-med guys? Wellllllll sweetie if you've got hamburger for a chest d'ya think he's going to want to be your lab partner? Think about it.

Anyway, I am done my rant/public safety announcement for the night. Gotta get back to the riveting chapter on the "properties of enantiomers". I feel a powerpoint coming on........