So, as some of you may have noticed, I am rarely updating this blog anymore.
I feel a bit torn about how I ought to split up the information I put on Asystole vs OTB. Mostly I feel like my life revolves around medical school, medicine, nursing, and from time to time some living outside those realms. So for the most part I want to post on Asystole, which makes OTB the forgotten older sister.
I have had mixed emotions as well about putting private info up on the blog, even though I truly started this whole endeavor as a journal for myself, never imagining that anyone else would ever read it. Now that I feel somewhat obligated to my profession-to-be I wonder how appropriate it is to discuss road trips or heartache on a site linked to my medical life. If I could simply separate the two I would. More and more these days I am wanting to write about my feelings of isolation, challenges I am facing, new chapters opening, old ones closing...and I wonder how much the general population needs to be exposed/bored by this.
To make a long story short, I've decided to make OTB a private blog. That being said, if any of you are still interested in where this side road leads please let me know and I will be more than happy to send you an invite. I just want to have some idea of who is still reading my personal drivel. It doesn't mean I won't post private-ish type things on Asystole, but at least I have somewhere a little more secluded for those days when I just want to write about how homesick I am.
Tuesday, October 13, 2009
Thursday, October 1, 2009
And Now....For Some Visuals
So I am finally putting up a few recent pics. To start...myself and 3 of my nursey pals took a road trip to Hyder, Alaska. This was near the end of my stint in northern BC and I was really feeling like I'd regret it if I didn't make the trek across the border and get "Hyderized" (this is drinking a shot of 150 proof booze...yes I did it...and yes I cut a sweet rug on the dance floor after). It was about 35 degrees the day we drove up so it made stopping along the way to jump in various lakes and rivers a necessity (I don't normally drive in a bathing suit...but desperate times...).
So here is a nice blurry pic of us in front of the Bear Glacier just outside of Stewart. Sadly the road had been washed out to the Salmon Glacier so we didn't get a chance to make it up there.Below is one of the Grizzlies we got to see during the salmon run in Fish Creek...it was about a 3 year old so not very big but still a beautiful and breathtaking creature to behold. It was my first time ever seeing one and I was surprised at what a thrill it was.
And then I started studying 'doctorology' as I like to call it.
These are just a few random photos from campus...above is the medical sciences building which is mostly being used by nursing students, physios, etc. We are sort of scattered around campus as they are building a new med sci spot which will mostly be reserved for medical students. Of course this will likely not be done before we are off campus and in our 3rd year rotations. In the meantime we walk by the mud pit that will be the medical school on a daily basis.Below here is the Living Bridge, which is a stunning connector between the main part of campus and the residential area that most of us live in (as well as where future med sci building will be). Runs over the River Shannon, quite lovely...
One of my musical classmates, Christine. We dropped in on this presentation regarding music therapy and health. It was a very interesting talk by two music profs about what research is being done in this field. We didn't realise that it was a dress up affair...so we were the scruffy med students who didn't feel worthy enough to drink the free wine.
My roommate Anna and good pal Ryan--also fellow first years.
Our place has been dubbed "The Cerebrex" as it has become a meeting point for out group of friends. The whiteboard addition to the kitchen has already proved handy, not just for writing down quotes from our beer drinking evenings, but also our study sessions. Below is another good friend/classmate JM and I, probably arguing over some minute point which bears so real significance. Either that or it is me soliciting free mac advice.
My two other roommates, Naran and George. Quality guys. Also in my class.
We call George the 'McDreamy' of GEMS class 2013. Which means I have McDreamy and a 6 foot 1 inch blonde that can do the splits as roommates. Yikes. Our first descent into eating pizza. 
A few of the random buildings on campus.
McDreamy and Anna being their dead sexy selves.
Naren eating his version of a hot meal. This is what happens when I don't cook for the boys.
The lovely ladies that I memorize inner ear structures with. Kristina, Kristine, Catherine, Anna, and yours truly (Anna was impressed that she managed to get me in a dress that night).
My trip to town to get a mobile.
Welcome to beige food. Is there a booster juice somewhere??
Ryan attempting to steal liquor through our screenless window.
So yeah, a bit of a scattered collection of the sights in my world right now. Soon I'll put up a few more of the domicile. For now I must return to an animated video of the cochlea.
Wednesday, September 2, 2009
I am a Lazy Double Poster...
I know, I know...double posting is LAZY. But really...Asystole appears to be taking over as my main blog...I sometimes wonder if I should just put it on ice and only have that one now..
Hmmm...
In the meantime, until I decide...
I can't believe I am actually here.
The goal of getting to this place seemed so very very far off that for a long time I hardly lifted my head to look up and see how many more stairs there were to the top. I would just focus on the two or three ones directly in my line of vision...keep my head down, and push on.
I remember very clearly talking to Vern about it one day on a walk in Revelstoke. It was the summer I first moved there and I could feel the contemplation stage of change slowly working it's way into action. I told her that at some time I'd have to give up work completely, move somewhere with a university, take 8 or so prerequisites, write the MCAT, apply to schools, then wait almost a year to find out if I was accepted or not.
She was also looking into a long application process at the same time, applying to school in Scotland to undertake her masters. We both sorta shook our heads at how daunting it all was.
Today I got to sit in a lecture room and look at my fellow classmates for the next 4 years. I've been so lucky since my arrival (save for the baggage incident) to have connected with some very amazing folks in my class. Musicians, chefs, dancers, researchers, engineers...we're all meshing into these interesting combinations. Our res unit of 4 has basically become the meeting point for our group of friends from res. We've already had two late night jams, "Flight of the Conchords" showings, big group meals, and kitchen partying--and it's only been 5 days. My roommates are first years as well, and though they are a few years younger than me, it hasn't seemed weird. Just funny more than anything else...like watching my one roommate figure out how to make a sandwich after coming home from the bar.
It was a long day of orientation today, and though I had ants in my pants after sitting for so many hours (8!) I must admit I was on the edge of my seat as they talked about clinical skills, labs, textbooks, the PBL groups, and our eventual hospital rotations. Next week we will be assigned our patients from the 'early patient contact program' which involves us following a prenatal woman from now through to 3rd year as she goes through the pregnancy and eventual birth/growth and development of the child. We're also being assigned a patient with a chronic disease who we will also be paired with until 3rd year. We'll be expected to attend hospital visits/doctor appointments/home visits with these patients...and be another resource for them as they work their way through the system. I am very excited to meet these people who will be a big part of my learning for the next 2 years.
After orientation we had a quick snack and headed out to the pub for a medical society social event. This was an event for 1-3rd years which included a life sized (timed) game of 'operation' as well as the normal mini version. I was terrible at the life sized one and wouldn't have come close to the top time even if I hadn't been buzzed out after 16 seconds. Instead of claiming fame and status with a win, I ate two free hotdogs (apparently my 'mystery meat' rule doesn't apply in Ireland) and drank some Guinness. The hot dog guy said that evidently I wasn't going to be a surgeon (I told him maybe I'd just be a slow one...) Came back to our place and had another jam session with my two new music-playing pals, drank some tea, and then called it a night.
It's strange to be in place finally. In the place that has been so far off in the distance for so long. It is also lovely to be able to embrace the now--feel that my life has truly gone to the place it was meant to go, at the time it was meant to happen, and with the people I was meant to be surrounded by.
Sláinte!
Hmmm...
In the meantime, until I decide...
I can't believe I am actually here.
The goal of getting to this place seemed so very very far off that for a long time I hardly lifted my head to look up and see how many more stairs there were to the top. I would just focus on the two or three ones directly in my line of vision...keep my head down, and push on.
I remember very clearly talking to Vern about it one day on a walk in Revelstoke. It was the summer I first moved there and I could feel the contemplation stage of change slowly working it's way into action. I told her that at some time I'd have to give up work completely, move somewhere with a university, take 8 or so prerequisites, write the MCAT, apply to schools, then wait almost a year to find out if I was accepted or not.
She was also looking into a long application process at the same time, applying to school in Scotland to undertake her masters. We both sorta shook our heads at how daunting it all was.
Today I got to sit in a lecture room and look at my fellow classmates for the next 4 years. I've been so lucky since my arrival (save for the baggage incident) to have connected with some very amazing folks in my class. Musicians, chefs, dancers, researchers, engineers...we're all meshing into these interesting combinations. Our res unit of 4 has basically become the meeting point for our group of friends from res. We've already had two late night jams, "Flight of the Conchords" showings, big group meals, and kitchen partying--and it's only been 5 days. My roommates are first years as well, and though they are a few years younger than me, it hasn't seemed weird. Just funny more than anything else...like watching my one roommate figure out how to make a sandwich after coming home from the bar.
It was a long day of orientation today, and though I had ants in my pants after sitting for so many hours (8!) I must admit I was on the edge of my seat as they talked about clinical skills, labs, textbooks, the PBL groups, and our eventual hospital rotations. Next week we will be assigned our patients from the 'early patient contact program' which involves us following a prenatal woman from now through to 3rd year as she goes through the pregnancy and eventual birth/growth and development of the child. We're also being assigned a patient with a chronic disease who we will also be paired with until 3rd year. We'll be expected to attend hospital visits/doctor appointments/home visits with these patients...and be another resource for them as they work their way through the system. I am very excited to meet these people who will be a big part of my learning for the next 2 years.
After orientation we had a quick snack and headed out to the pub for a medical society social event. This was an event for 1-3rd years which included a life sized (timed) game of 'operation' as well as the normal mini version. I was terrible at the life sized one and wouldn't have come close to the top time even if I hadn't been buzzed out after 16 seconds. Instead of claiming fame and status with a win, I ate two free hotdogs (apparently my 'mystery meat' rule doesn't apply in Ireland) and drank some Guinness. The hot dog guy said that evidently I wasn't going to be a surgeon (I told him maybe I'd just be a slow one...) Came back to our place and had another jam session with my two new music-playing pals, drank some tea, and then called it a night.
It's strange to be in place finally. In the place that has been so far off in the distance for so long. It is also lovely to be able to embrace the now--feel that my life has truly gone to the place it was meant to go, at the time it was meant to happen, and with the people I was meant to be surrounded by.
Sláinte!
Thursday, July 9, 2009
Canada D'eh!
To celebrate Canada Day, my occasional housemates Kara and Stephen suggested we go for a hike in our neck of the woods. I thought that was a dandy idea. My knee has been doing well since I've stopped running/biking for the past 7 weeks so hiking has been an option again. On Tuesday Kara and I did a mini hike up Teapot and my knee was fine so we gassed up the 4X4 and headed off to Mt. Cheam on July 1st.Super crazy logging road to the trail head, but the nice thing was not having to slog through the miles and miles of dense forest to start getting some views. Still plenty of snow around in the alpine we enjoyed amazing views of the Fraser Valley, the Fraser River, Mt. Baker and even Harrison Lake from the summit. On the way up we came across a couple in their 70's on their way down, the husband had a giant Canadian flag tied to his pack like a cape and they were all smiles and 'HAPPY CANADA DAY!!!' as they passed.
I feel like I have been trying to memorize all of these moments like stills in my mind for those times when I am homesick in Ireland. I am wanting to hold on to these last few days in the lower mainland, cherish them. My dogsitting/housesitting all week in Whistler has been a bittersweet time as I love the people, food, landscape, and recreation that surrounds me here. It is a perfect reminder of all of the things I will be giving up for the next, oh, decade. Wish I knew what propelled this desire to keep moving forward. Sometimes it doesn't seem like I am moving forward, just constantly in a new direction.
Saturday, June 27, 2009
Woot!
Jerry's counter-counter offer was accepted yesterday!
Woot!
Economic downturn, schmeconomic downturn.
Woot!
Economic downturn, schmeconomic downturn.
Thursday, June 25, 2009
Over, Counter Offer...
Jerry put an offer on a place in Squamish yesterday...they counter offered and he counter-counter offered. We find out tomorrow if they accepted.
Fingers crossed he gets it.
We spent the last 2 days house hunting (well...townhouse and condo hunting). Well not 'we' as in 'WE'...I was tagging along for comic relief and a 2nd opinion. Jerry knows I have no inside voice.
Looks like he'll be splitting his time between Ireland, Egypt, and Squamish. This I like.
Great spot to come home to on my summer visits!
:)
Fingers crossed he gets it.
We spent the last 2 days house hunting (well...townhouse and condo hunting). Well not 'we' as in 'WE'...I was tagging along for comic relief and a 2nd opinion. Jerry knows I have no inside voice.
Looks like he'll be splitting his time between Ireland, Egypt, and Squamish. This I like.
Great spot to come home to on my summer visits!
:)
Friday, June 12, 2009
Proust Questionnaire
I read this questionnaire, given to Dustin Hoffman in Vanity Fair. I ripped it out and have been carrying it around with me since November. Some of the questions are pretty basic but others I've revisited several times and thought quite a bit about.
What is your idea of perfect happiness?
Sitting down to a home cooked meal with friends or family and a really good bottle of wine (or two). A night when you enjoy the laughter and the silence equally. Watching people eat food I've prepared (and enjoy it) is one of the most satisfying things to see.
What is your greatest fear?
Making a mistake at work that harms someone in a way that is irreversible. Feeling responsible for a poor outcome.
Which living person do you most admire?
Tough to answer because I admire so many people for so many things...of living people that I know I think the answer is a toss up between my brother Russ and my mother. Of people that I don't know it is a tie between James Orbinski and Ishmael Beah.
What is your greatest extravagance?
Hahahah! Of where do I start??? Greatest of all? I suppose really good Champagne. All my other extravagances are a little more long lasting (but not much...).
What do you consider the most overrated virtue?
Toss up between restraint and tactfulness.
On what occasion do you lie?
When my mother asks me what my visa balance is.
What do you dislike most about your appearance?
For the first time in my life I actually feel pretty good about my appearance! I appreciate my body and the things it does for me now more than ever before. But if I had to pick one thing I suppose it is the backs of my arms...wish they were more ripped. Workin' on it.
Which living person do you most despise?
The instructor I had for third year clinical med/surg rotation. He not only was a bully but he had the most profound personality disorder I've ever come across. I could start listing politicians that I don't know personally but I think that would be boring. Oprah is also on my shit list right now for putting our population at risk by trotting out uninformed bimbettes like Suzanne Sommers and Jenny McCarthy to tell the world that vaccines are causing autism. Oprah you and the playboy bunnies don't know what you are talking about. Shut up.
What is the quality you most like in a man?
Wit. And humility.
What is the quality that you most like in a woman?
Intelligent enthusiasm.
Which words or phrases do you most overuse?
"Obviously". And "..." in emails.
What or who is the greatest love of your life?
The mountains of BC.
When and where were you happiest?
Travelling throughout India and Nepal with Ashley, Erin, and Jana in 1999. Closely followed by living in Revelstoke 2 years ago. Must say, right now I feel very happy and fortunate as well.
Which talent would you most like to have?
Wish I could paint.
If you could change one thing about yourself what would it be?
I would like to be able to go through life without comparing myself to others.
What do you consider your greatest achievement?
The show we put on for our CD release party at The Sidetrack. That and the actual CD. I am super proud of it.
What is your most treasured possession?
The little blobs of metal my granddad and I soldered together when I was 7. That, and his stethoscope.
What do you value most in your friends?
How down to earth they are. And how hilarious, loving, and genuinely supportive they are.
What do you regard as the lowest depth of misery?
Any memory of high school.
What is your favorite occupation?
Making food for people. And I also like making them feel better.
What is your most marked characteristic?
Let's ask our audience members?? Any comments? Hmmm...would be interesting to know that.
Indecisiveness? Hahahaah.
Who are your favorite writers?
Well, to qualify as a favorite writer I suppose I'd have to had read more than one of their books...so that discounts a lot of authors I respect greatly. So writers that have given me more than one great read include Oliver Sacks, Margaret Atwood, Shel Silverstein, Timothy Findlay, Kevin Patterson, Micheal Ondaatje, Douglas Adams...
Who is your favorite hero of fiction?
"P.K" from Bryce Courtenay's 'Power of One'.
Which historical figure do you most identify with?
Um...I don't identify with any known historical figure. For them to be a known historical figure they would have had to accomplish something outstanding. I have yet to pull off anything outstanding.
Who are your heroes in real life?
People who believe in meaningful work...people who make the best of their circumstances...people who are good parents.
What is your greatest regret?
Not believing in myself sooner.
What is your motto?
Eat (non-processed healthy food), drink (good wine or beer), and be merry (while you exercise) for tomorrow you may die.
What is your idea of perfect happiness?
Sitting down to a home cooked meal with friends or family and a really good bottle of wine (or two). A night when you enjoy the laughter and the silence equally. Watching people eat food I've prepared (and enjoy it) is one of the most satisfying things to see.
What is your greatest fear?
Making a mistake at work that harms someone in a way that is irreversible. Feeling responsible for a poor outcome.
Which living person do you most admire?
Tough to answer because I admire so many people for so many things...of living people that I know I think the answer is a toss up between my brother Russ and my mother. Of people that I don't know it is a tie between James Orbinski and Ishmael Beah.
What is your greatest extravagance?
Hahahah! Of where do I start??? Greatest of all? I suppose really good Champagne. All my other extravagances are a little more long lasting (but not much...).
What do you consider the most overrated virtue?
Toss up between restraint and tactfulness.
On what occasion do you lie?
When my mother asks me what my visa balance is.
What do you dislike most about your appearance?
For the first time in my life I actually feel pretty good about my appearance! I appreciate my body and the things it does for me now more than ever before. But if I had to pick one thing I suppose it is the backs of my arms...wish they were more ripped. Workin' on it.
Which living person do you most despise?
The instructor I had for third year clinical med/surg rotation. He not only was a bully but he had the most profound personality disorder I've ever come across. I could start listing politicians that I don't know personally but I think that would be boring. Oprah is also on my shit list right now for putting our population at risk by trotting out uninformed bimbettes like Suzanne Sommers and Jenny McCarthy to tell the world that vaccines are causing autism. Oprah you and the playboy bunnies don't know what you are talking about. Shut up.
What is the quality you most like in a man?
Wit. And humility.
What is the quality that you most like in a woman?
Intelligent enthusiasm.
Which words or phrases do you most overuse?
"Obviously". And "..." in emails.
What or who is the greatest love of your life?
The mountains of BC.
When and where were you happiest?
Travelling throughout India and Nepal with Ashley, Erin, and Jana in 1999. Closely followed by living in Revelstoke 2 years ago. Must say, right now I feel very happy and fortunate as well.
Which talent would you most like to have?
Wish I could paint.
If you could change one thing about yourself what would it be?
I would like to be able to go through life without comparing myself to others.
What do you consider your greatest achievement?
The show we put on for our CD release party at The Sidetrack. That and the actual CD. I am super proud of it.
What is your most treasured possession?
The little blobs of metal my granddad and I soldered together when I was 7. That, and his stethoscope.
What do you value most in your friends?
How down to earth they are. And how hilarious, loving, and genuinely supportive they are.
What do you regard as the lowest depth of misery?
Any memory of high school.
What is your favorite occupation?
Making food for people. And I also like making them feel better.
What is your most marked characteristic?
Let's ask our audience members?? Any comments? Hmmm...would be interesting to know that.
Indecisiveness? Hahahaah.
Who are your favorite writers?
Well, to qualify as a favorite writer I suppose I'd have to had read more than one of their books...so that discounts a lot of authors I respect greatly. So writers that have given me more than one great read include Oliver Sacks, Margaret Atwood, Shel Silverstein, Timothy Findlay, Kevin Patterson, Micheal Ondaatje, Douglas Adams...
Who is your favorite hero of fiction?
"P.K" from Bryce Courtenay's 'Power of One'.
Which historical figure do you most identify with?
Um...I don't identify with any known historical figure. For them to be a known historical figure they would have had to accomplish something outstanding. I have yet to pull off anything outstanding.
Who are your heroes in real life?
People who believe in meaningful work...people who make the best of their circumstances...people who are good parents.
What is your greatest regret?
Not believing in myself sooner.
What is your motto?
Eat (non-processed healthy food), drink (good wine or beer), and be merry (while you exercise) for tomorrow you may die.
Friday, June 5, 2009
Just Imagine...
...What it would be like if we could close our eyes, just for a moment...and when we opened them, all the happiness and light and beauty that cancer has taken away...was suddenly returned to our planet.
All the scars disappeared.
All the lines of worry and pain, smoothed.
All the hair grown back.
Bellies eager for food.
Families whole again, graduations attended, brides given away, first steps witnessed.
Just imagine.
All the scars disappeared.
All the lines of worry and pain, smoothed.
All the hair grown back.
Bellies eager for food.
Families whole again, graduations attended, brides given away, first steps witnessed.
Just imagine.
Friday, May 29, 2009
It's What's Under the Tweed
So Jerry and I are driving yesterday and somehow we got on the conversation about our 'stripper names'--you know, where you take your first pet's name and your mothers maiden name.
"Mine is decent, it's Fancy Taylor."
"Yeah, that is pretty good."
"I dated a guy once whose stripper name would have been, Waggles Moorehead...you can't really top that one."
"What about mine? It's Huxley Morse."
"Huxley Morse? I think that is the worst stripper name I've ever heard...it doesn't conjure anything sexy...sounds more like a Masterpiece Theater stripper name, or a stripper who wears tweed..."
"Yeah, but it's what's UNDER the tweed that counts baby."
There are some statements that a girl just can't argue with. There are also some statements that are so bizarre and hilarious one just has to write them down.
"Mine is decent, it's Fancy Taylor."
"Yeah, that is pretty good."
"I dated a guy once whose stripper name would have been, Waggles Moorehead...you can't really top that one."
"What about mine? It's Huxley Morse."
"Huxley Morse? I think that is the worst stripper name I've ever heard...it doesn't conjure anything sexy...sounds more like a Masterpiece Theater stripper name, or a stripper who wears tweed..."
"Yeah, but it's what's UNDER the tweed that counts baby."
There are some statements that a girl just can't argue with. There are also some statements that are so bizarre and hilarious one just has to write them down.
Saturday, May 23, 2009
Geographically Challenged
Many of you who know me can attest to the fact that there are times when I am geographically challenged. I blame this on my mother, of course. Mostly for not breast feeding me long enough (4 months) but also because she is very spacially/geographically challenged....no, geographically 'retarded' is a better word for it.
Today I added to "Revealing my Intellectual Achilles" list when I arrived at the gym. The woman who works the desk is very pleasant and we usually have a little banter before I head inside. Today she said to me, "Oh! what did you get up to today in this gorgeous sunshine?"
"Oh, my friend and I took her dog out to some lake and just had a nice picnic while the doggy played in the water...it was a beautiful spot!" I replied.
"Which lake did you go to?"
"You know, the one down the road that has the kayak rental place on it...not much of a beach but a few campsites..."
"Umm...that is the ocean, not a lake...this is an island remember??"
"Heh...right...island" as I think to myself--THAT is why the water level changed so much in the time we were there!!
She was very polite and proceeded to listed a bunch of lakes that are, in fact, in the area...
Yup. Another one to add to the list.
Washington DC, not in Washington...check.
Don't have to drive through downtown to get to Whistler from Vancouver...check.
When the water level of a 'lake' goes down dramatically in a few hours and you are on an island--you are probably staring at the ocean not a lake...check.
Today I added to "Revealing my Intellectual Achilles" list when I arrived at the gym. The woman who works the desk is very pleasant and we usually have a little banter before I head inside. Today she said to me, "Oh! what did you get up to today in this gorgeous sunshine?"
"Oh, my friend and I took her dog out to some lake and just had a nice picnic while the doggy played in the water...it was a beautiful spot!" I replied.
"Which lake did you go to?"
"You know, the one down the road that has the kayak rental place on it...not much of a beach but a few campsites..."
"Umm...that is the ocean, not a lake...this is an island remember??"
"Heh...right...island" as I think to myself--THAT is why the water level changed so much in the time we were there!!
She was very polite and proceeded to listed a bunch of lakes that are, in fact, in the area...
Yup. Another one to add to the list.
Washington DC, not in Washington...check.
Don't have to drive through downtown to get to Whistler from Vancouver...check.
When the water level of a 'lake' goes down dramatically in a few hours and you are on an island--you are probably staring at the ocean not a lake...check.
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